Parenting coach, Jenny Hale shares her favourite strategies to help with communicating with your partner and your kid(s). If you are feeling that your partner parents in a different way to you this podcast chat is a goodie.
Parenting on the same page with your partner can be a challenge but is so worth working on. You aren't going to agree with every action or decision. But working on your parenting together is an investment that will pay off.
It can be very easy to fall into roles of "good cop/bad cop" and to parent out of a place of our own childhood experiences. We need to be willing to have an ongoing discussion to talk through these things with our partner when our kids are not listening. It's about forming an alliance to strengthen our parenting by facing our own issues or challenges and talking through things honestly with our partner.
Children need and respond to boundaries to feel safe and secure. In a family with boundaries in place kids have permission to get on with the job of being a child. The limits provided don't have to be introduced in a harsh way. There will be big feelings when we set boundaries, don't take it personally if they resist you. It's normal for a child to push boundaries to grow and develop. Here's another episode you may find useful
You can be firm and still be kind. Use a voice where we show them that we are with them. Use a tone that communicates "we are doing this because I am with you, let's do this job together"
I'm a say it, do it mean it parent. I'm not going to ask them to do something and hope they do it. Or ask them repeatedly then blow my cool.
Calm breeds calm. My child doesn't have to go into fight or flight or freeze. There won't be fear and threats to get them to do something.
How can I say this in a way that is KFC - Kind, Firm, Calm?
You can grab a copy of Jenny's book here: https://looloo.co.nz/products/kind-firm-calm-parenting-book
You can work with Jenny to get some help and support with your parenting journey here: https://parentingplace.nz/coaching
If you enjoyed this episode head to this previous parenting chat for a talk about boundaries: